Clinton died and was standing at hte Pearly Gates. After  knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. "Who goes  there?" inquired St. Peter.
"'It's me, Bill Clinton."   "And what do you want?" asked St. Peter.   "Lemme in!" replied Clinton.
"Soooo," pondered Peter. "What bad things did you do on  earth?"  Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana  but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. I  guess I had extra-marital sex -- but you shouldn't hold that  against me because I didn't really have 'sexual relations.' And I  lied, but I didn't commit perjury."  After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK,  here's the deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot,  but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period  of time, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And don't abandon all  hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to  freeze over."  