Why did the cat run away from the tree?\pau=1000\ Because of its bark.
People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. 
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?\pau=1000\ One. but the light bulb's really got to want to change.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?\pau=1000\ None. the light bulb will only chage if it really want's to.
What do you call a fly with no wings?\pau=1500\ A Walk. he he
Why did the Elephant paint the soles of his feet yellow?\pau=1500\ So he could float upside down in a bowl of custard.
How do you know an Elephant's been in your fridge?\pau=1500\ Footprints in the custard.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the Elephant's coming over the hill?\pau=1500\ Here come the Elephant's.\pau=1500\What did Tarzan say when he saw the Elephant's coming over the hill in sunglasses?\pau=1500\ Nothing, he didn't recognise them.
Have you \map="red"="read"\ The Steep Cliff by Eileen Dover?
Have you \map="red"="read"\ The Bouncy Bed by Buster Spring?
Have you \map="red"="read"\ The Long Walk by Misty Bus?
What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangaroo?\pau=1500\ A wooly jumper.
what do you get if you cross an Elephant with a Kangaroo?\pau=1500\ Big footprints all over Australia.
What's green and hairy and goes up and down?\pau=1500\ A goosberry in a lift.
What's yellow and lethal?\pau=1500\ Shark infested custard.
Waiter, waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?\pau=1500\ Backstroke I think sir.